Calm in the Storm

Sluggish. Severe migraines. Clumsiness. Spacing out. Hot flashes or extreme body temperature. Restlessness. Sudden anxiousness. Sexual dry spell or sex surge. And the list can go.  If you’re constantly having these kind of episodes and you’re almost as young as half a century, then you’re not alone.  Welcome to the other world of Peri menopause.  
Sadly though, Peri menopause is not a hot topic that everyone is fond of talking.  In fact, it seems that it is a topic oftenly avoided (or is it just in our country?).
Yes, I’m at this stage where my body is preparing for a transition to another phase.  To say, ‘I’m hormonal’ is an understatement.  Because more often than not, I sometimes or oftentimes cannot explain (or even understand myself) how or what I’m feeling.
For someone who mentally does a ‘to do list’ of the day, I get frustrated when all of a sudden I spaced out and I lost focus on what I’m doing or what I should do.  I get anxious when all of a sudden I get restless.  And how worse can it get, when sometimes I feel so alone when I’m not.  It’s like you’re in the middle of the storm.
For this reason, I ‘googled’ and search all the answers I could get.  And did I find the answer?  Yup, I did get the answer. The answer confirming that I’m experiencing peri menopausal syndrome.
Was I assured?  Nope.  In a way, it helped that I am able to rule out what I’m going through.  However, I needed something, someone to calm the storm I’m in.
In one of my readings, one expert advice struck me. She said it would hugely help when you’re able to share it and your significant other can empathize with you.   But what if your significant other simply has a hard time emphathizing?
It was then that I sought from the scriptures and was given the answer, “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your comforts delight me.” (Psalms 94:19)
I was reminded of King David.  King David was one of the youngest or the youngest king who ruled Israel.  One day a shepherd then in a turn of event, became a King.  What a transition? A life-changing transition.  I could just imagine his restlessness and anxious thoughts.
However, since he was a man after God’s own heart, King David found comfort in the arms of God.  King David found his ‘calm in the storm’.
As meditated on this scripture, I was able to find the courage to share my predicament with my hubby.  As I asked God to fill our conversation with compassion and wisdom, more than listening my hubby assured me with his love and understanding.
Dear Lord, thank You for assuring me with Your comfort in whatever I may go through.  As I utter my innermost longings, You surround me with people who allows me to feel Your love and compassion. And in my   emotional turmoils, You are the Calm in the storm.  I praise and glorify You.  Amen

Overwhelmed not Overload

So many things to do. So little time to spare. Everything seems to be “ASAP”. Or everything seems to be urgently needed.

Have you ever felt that way? Did you ever find yourself holding a very long ‘to do list’, that mostly you end up accomplishing less or nothing at all?

Lately, I have gone to this side of the road. I felt that there were so many things on my ‘to do list’. I was anxious about anything and everything that crossed my mind. Even in my quiet time with God, I would just ask Him to make my day productive.

Indeed some of those days were productive in the sense that I got to meet the demands of daily grind. So productive, that I would be so exhausted and end up sleeping like a log.

But then, I felt something does not sit well on me and that something is not right.

Last Sunday’s worship service, as the pastor prayed for the church and the community I sensed the still small voice of the Lord telling me, ‘you have been so anxious and busy with the things around you, that you have set Me aside. Have I not proven to you that I am in control of everything? You need not be anxious. You need to be still and know that I am God.’

Admittedly, I did accomplished a lot of things. Admittedly as I was overwhelmed with so many things to do, I allowed listlessness to eat me up.  And admittedly I was so caught up with the things around me, that I failed to acknowledge God is control of everything, that I need not to be anxious of how things will unfold; that I need to be still and allow God to direct me.

Looking back I realized that I only asked God to make my day productive, when it should have been,

‘Gracious and Loving God, thank You for yesterday and how it has been. Thank You for today and the things that would unfold. Lord, help me to focus on you as I strive to be productive today.  Thank You for the strength and the wisdom that comes from You. Amen.’