Forgive. Forget.

As the song goes…

And, darling, I will be loving you ’til we’re 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me – I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am…

Yes, we all want to have that happy ever after.  I mean who wouldn’t want to retire, grow old and just lounge around with the love of your life?  We all do, right?

Sadly though, the reality is for the past eleven years the number of marriage annulment/nullity cases filed is increasingly rising with an average of 28 couples seeking legal separation per day.  And to think it’s not just a relationship that has been broken.  Think about the effect it would have on the children who are placed to face the consequences of broken marriages.

Please don’t get me wrong on this. I’m not judging on whatever decision made or whatever prompted a couple to decide on going separate ways.  After all both David and I almost headed to “splitville” some 11 years ago.  Even so, thanks to a handful of concerned individuals who interceded and prayed for us.  All praises and glory to God who did not only give up on us.  Rather, He restored us and has been constantly fixing our marriage.

Our marriage is far from being perfect.  Yet as we allow God to mould us into becoming the husband and wife that He designed us to be,  He also impressed in us the 2 Fs – Forgive and Forget’; to forgive each other and to forget the hurt.  It’s quite impossible to forget the sad and bitter past.  But it is possible to forget the hurt, when we allow God to heal us.  Further, we ask Him to help us move on from the pain.

In marriage there is no “and they live happily ever after”.  Rather in marriage, there is “for better or for worse”.  In marriage there is no “always a bed of roses”.  Rather in marriage there is “in sickness and in health.”  In marriage there is no fairy god mother.

Yet in marriage, there is Jesus Christ who authored and drafted the blueprint of marriage.  And when we have Jesus in our marriage we can affirmatively say, ‘for better or for worse, in sickness and in health as long as Jesus is with us; we can be together ‘till death shall part us.

“Therefore What God Has Joined Together, Let No One Separate.” – Mark 10:9



Hard. Heavy. Cold.

Whenever I clean our fridge, it takes me quite sometime before I could start the task. I don’t know why, but the thought of unloading everything from top to bottom is just overwhelming. Apart from that I also need to segregate items that need to be kept from items that need to be discarded.

However the challenging part is the thick ice that has built up overtime. This gross ice is extremely cold to touch, and way too hard as well as heavy to remove. I have to keep the door ajar for a while and place an electric fan in front of it so as to speed up the melting.

Ironically though, while waiting for the ice to soften I would work on the segregating part and as the momentum of cleaning builds up, I find it rather therapeutic – segregating the items, washing and organizing them. At times I would get too engross that I’d wonder why I didn’t do it soon enough. What was I thinking? In the end, it feels so fulfilling as I accomplished the task. It’s so rewarding to see a clean and organize fridge. (I would jokingly pat my back and say, ‘You did well, Irene. you did well.’)

On a similar note, like the fridge our life may need some cleaning. Our life could be filled with so much hurt or bitterness that could turn us cold. Or it would seem like carrying a heavy load when bitterness consumed us. As a result, we become cynical and hard to deal with.

And no matter how much effort we put to overcome them, we would only end up exhausted and drained but the hurt and bitterness would still be there. At times we may try to cover up those hurt by ignoring it or finding other diversion. But eventually the same hurt would catch up on us and pull us down deep in the pit.

We may call it human nature when oftentimes we try to face the battle our way. However if we learn to listen to the ‘still small voice’ of God, we would hear Him say, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ (Psalms 46:10) It is more than a reminder. It is an assurance that He is with us and He is in control.

In fact even His son, Jesus Christ assured us when He said, “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Be that as it may, let us not get the wrong notion that when we lean on and trust God we would never experience hurt nor pain. In this broken world, we are bound to meet trials and difficulties that could lead to hurt and bitterness.

Nonetheless, Jesus has already overcame the world. While we may encounter hardships, difficulties and hurt God’s grace is sufficient that as we lean on Him and trust Him, He is more than willing to see us through hard times.

So go ahead, start ‘cleaning’ those hurt and bitterness that causes hardness, heaviness and coldness in your life; except this time lean on God, allow God to do the ‘cleaning’ and trust God to keep your life from being hard, heavy and cold.