Forgive. Forget.

As the song goes…

And, darling, I will be loving you ’til we’re 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me – I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am…

Yes, we all want to have that happy ever after.  I mean who wouldn’t want to retire, grow old and just lounge around with the love of your life?  We all do, right?

Sadly though, the reality is for the past eleven years the number of marriage annulment/nullity cases filed is increasingly rising with an average of 28 couples seeking legal separation per day.  And to think it’s not just a relationship that has been broken.  Think about the effect it would have on the children who are placed to face the consequences of broken marriages.

Please don’t get me wrong on this. I’m not judging on whatever decision made or whatever prompted a couple to decide on going separate ways.  After all both David and I almost headed to “splitville” some 11 years ago.  Even so, thanks to a handful of concerned individuals who interceded and prayed for us.  All praises and glory to God who did not only give up on us.  Rather, He restored us and has been constantly fixing our marriage.

Our marriage is far from being perfect.  Yet as we allow God to mould us into becoming the husband and wife that He designed us to be,  He also impressed in us the 2 Fs – Forgive and Forget’; to forgive each other and to forget the hurt.  It’s quite impossible to forget the sad and bitter past.  But it is possible to forget the hurt, when we allow God to heal us.  Further, we ask Him to help us move on from the pain.

In marriage there is no “and they live happily ever after”.  Rather in marriage, there is “for better or for worse”.  In marriage there is no “always a bed of roses”.  Rather in marriage there is “in sickness and in health.”  In marriage there is no fairy god mother.

Yet in marriage, there is Jesus Christ who authored and drafted the blueprint of marriage.  And when we have Jesus in our marriage we can affirmatively say, ‘for better or for worse, in sickness and in health as long as Jesus is with us; we can be together ‘till death shall part us.

“Therefore What God Has Joined Together, Let No One Separate.” – Mark 10:9



Apprehension to Revelation

‘I don’t know if this would be possible.’ ‘I don’t think this would be effective, let alone work.’ ‘I just don’t feel like doing this.’ Not so long ago, these were my constant mantra.

On a short notice, my hubby and I were invited to facilitate a couples’retreat. This has caused me huge apprehension. No, don’t get me wrong. I always look forward on facilitating such retreat because it allows me to share some of my learnings and also, perhaps motivate others. I especially like meeting new acquaintances and of course, the perks of traveling.

So what causes my apprehension? Time element. Most of the time, I would prefer a month notice when we get invitation to speak or facilitate in a retreat. However, the recent invitation we got left us with less than 2 weeks to prepare. I initially declined since there were already 2 events that both my hubby and I needed to facilitate. Still, my friend who invited us implored that we need push through because there are a number of couples who have signified and that the retreat is really needed. With my hubby’s insistence and assurance that we would somehow manage it, I finally said ‘yes’. Apprehensively said, ‘yes’.

True enough as we prayed and seek God’s wisdom, we were able to organize our schedule, brainstorm and prepare for the retreat. But hold on this is just the tip of the iceberg because what we did not expect, was God’s revelation.

As we facilitated the retreat, we were hoping that some or most of the couples would be receptive to the learning.

Did we get what we hope for? Nope. We got more than what we hope for. The couples were not just receptive, we also felt their warmth and their enthusiasm. But what overwhelmed me the most, was when some of the wives approached and thanked me, saying ‘what we shared has inspired them to seek God and to hold on to their marriages.

Indeed I went to the retreat with great apprehension, thinking that with short notice and preparation, the result would be so-so. Nevertheless, God has turned that apprehension into revelation.

While I was full of apprehension with the time element, God revealed His perfect time. When I was in doubt of the outcome, God revealed that He is in total control of everything. And when I thought of inspiring others as I shared our testimony, I went home inspired and motivated all the more to carry on God’s ministry.